Old Man Sayings.doc

I used to keep a list of quotes in a large text document. This file was created on 09/01/98 or thereabouts. I last updated about two years ago.

"You must be flexible like Silly Putty, yet hard like a frozen bagel."

That's the first entry. It was from the Game Revolution website, a site I still trust for honest game reviews going on 10+ years. That was from their Tenchu: Stealth Assassins review. While describing the game it infused silly quotes as section breaks. It was quite humorous at the time. So I wrote the best of them down. I then started gathering quotes from my favorite movies, shows, songs, and the ilk. I kept no citations so I'd have to rely on my impressive memory to recall all of them. As of today, there are 1549 quotes. I can still identify most of them, but yeah. If it was important to me at the time, it went into the file.

“Every second not getting your beanbag tortured is a worthwhile second.”

That's the second to last quote I have. That was from Robby in a conversation we had about the 2006 remake of Casino Royale. Even if you haven't seen the movie, that's pretty sagacious.

When the Nixon-esque library went the way of the dodo, I saw less and less point to the Old Man Sayings File. I still sign emails with a quote. I usually pulled them from this file. At one point I just used one that was in my head at the time.

Now the title... that was something a bit different. My brother and I had created a character called the Old Man. He would be a stereotypical old Asian man who would dispense wisdom whether wanted or not. It seemed natural to keep a file for his sayings to dispense inopportune sayings. Sometime later, my friend Bob and I thought up a backstory for him: back in the day he was just The Man. But, the ravages of time are cruel.

I will depart with the final quote: “There should be an ‘I’m glad you’re not dead’ Hallmark card.” A different memory for a different day.